ESCAPE FROM DOG HELL (1)

Dear Calvin,

When I woke up after the 2Legs hit me in the face with a stick, I was lying on my side in a cage.  My mouth was dry, except for the coppery taste of blood.  Everything hurt, not just my head - even my skin hurt, because it felt like someone had grabbed my hair and dragged me.

Where am I?  What is this?  It’s not home - OldMan never locks me up, NEVER.  He wouldn’t dare.

An involuntary cry escaped me.  There was moaning and crying all around.  It seemed as if I was surrounded by a large number of 4Legs and ChaseChomps (Editor:  Arthur means “dogs” and “cats”), all of them terrified and suffering.

Everywhere I heard cries of “I want to go home!  I want to go HOME!”  “Where are my 2Legs?”  “Why am I here?”  And everywhere I heard…”I’m AFRAID…”

I had never smelled so much urine in one place.  And almost every single drop spoke of fear, hunger, loneliness, desperation.

It seemed as if I had descended to the lower levels of Dante’s InFarto!  (Editor:  Arthur once ate a copy of OldMan’s book Dante’s Inferno.  But one can only imagine the flames and sulphurous emissions that erupt from his rear end when he’s upset.)

(Editor's note:  click on above photo to see what a small INFARTO looks like.)

It seemed worse than my worst nightmares when I howl in my sleep and runrunrun on my dog bed but don't go anywhere.  Except that I was awake and not on a nice soft dog bed.  I felt like crying myself.  No OldMan.  No Sage.  Crying and terrible misery all around me.

And then I heard a soft voice next to me:  "Hey, Bud, you okay?  You sound a little rough!"

I couldn't see him because a wall separated us.  And I sure as heck wasn't used to talking to another 4Legs other than to have the usual conversation:  "Shut up!"  "YOU shut up!"  "No, YOU SHUT UP!"  You know how it goes.  It can go on for hours with the 4Legs down the street.

I said, "Huh?  Who's that?"

And this gentle voice said, "HECTOR if I know!"  "Nyuck!"

Dumb joke, I thought.  But I was to find that this character would be essential to my survival and become my good friend.

Yours, Arthur TheBad Airedale

(NEXT:  ESCAPE FROM DOG HELL 2)